Image by shapour bahrami via Flickr
Not every reader will be aware of the fact that many of the people who are developing and exploring their own spirituality, interestingly enough, do have something in common with people who are studying NLP.
Now these connections may not be immediately obvious, so here is an invitation for you to look at some parallel lines of exploration.
In relating the science of NLP to the spirituality of Buddhism there are some very clear connections in terms of outcomes or to put it another way, what students from either of these discipline’s can anticipate from their efforts and studies because …
Both Buddhism and NLP at the higher level are concerned with moving towards true personal freedom. Ultimately it is about being able to feel how you want to feel much more of the time.
So to draw the first parallel let’s again recount the first temptation of the Buddha by the demon Kama, the Buddhas ‘solution’ to this problem and then see how you can do this from an NLP perspective.
Kama sends by proxy his three daughters Regret, Fulfillment and Desire. Buddha being, still on his immovable spot, disengaged from the field of time, he is able to refute all three emotions and be free from desire, regret and fulfillment.
All very well for Buddha to deal with these emotions but the question many people will be asking is “how do I deal with these emotions?”
Let’s explore regret. Regret is specifically about the past. Regret is a reviewing and reliving of past memories and for whatever reasons ( the list could be very long ) ruing the things that either were or were not done. Often times this in not even a choice to relive the memory it just seems to run and re-run all by itself. The brain just seems to do what it wants and not what you want.
Now, what if, like Buddha, you could change your past memories, here specifically regret, such that all the learning’s and education are preserved yet they have a completely neutral or even oddly pleasurable emotional response to the ‘same’ memory?
Looking through the therapeutic lens of applied NLP, regret is an indication that some value, some behavior or experience that is especially important to you was in some way transgressed. This applies irrespective weather the regret is about something that did happen ( and wish it hadn’t ) or something that did not happen ( and wish it had ).
You know, we learn by making ‘mistakes’ so being able to keep the learning and dissolved any unwanted emotion is what this is about.
First and foremost and often the hardest step for people is to acknowledge that the feeling of regret is serving some very positive purpose. This feeling of regret can act like a ‘flag’ or ‘marker’ so that in any similar future situations, you will act differently and in ways that will respect and support the transgressed value.
The third article of this series will give a simple step by step process of how you can change the way you think
about regret and start to run your own brain for a change.