Category Archives: Goals and Outcomes

NLP State Elicitation – Part Four

One of the commonalities between yoga and NLP is the way people can change how they feel or change their state.

There are essentially two ways in yoga to change how you feel.  One way is physically doing exercises, especially related to breathing and breath control. The other is mentally doing exercises commonly know as meditation or as spiritual exercises.

The particularly interesting parallel being like so many highly successful ways to personal development they follow a middle path, developing and practising both methods.

After the original creators of NLP parted company from some shared foundations, Grinder seems to have favoured a physical accent on his work which he named New Code NLP.  Bandler further developed the internal arts in the way of his sub modalities and later Neuro Hypnotic Repatterning.

By completing an NLP Practitioner training, participants will experience and learn a variety of ways in which you can change your state, or to put it another way learn how to change the way you feel.

This YouTube video is from an NLP Practitioner training in Newcastle upon Tyne.  Nigel Hetherington demonstrates how both internal ( sub modality ) and external ( physicalised ) methods are explored in the same exercise to generate personally resourceful states.

 

10 Hints & Tips for surviving a temporary recession – HT nine

FriendsImage via Wikipedia

This series of hints and tips for surviving and making something very positive and meaningful happen for yourself in this time of a so called recession is coming to an end. Now why is that?

Well if you haven’t already, it is time to start putting your plans into action and if you haven’t made plans yet … remember all those exercises in the previous hints and tips? …. Its time to do them before you take action.

Its time to do the things that will differentiate you from the millions of self help book readers to move from a reader to a doer.

Doing something to change how you feel, change your situation and connect deeply with whom and with what is really important to you will make massive difference in your life … and this step to change … is often much smaller that you may have previously imagined.

Crisis, Global Problems, Traumatic Events and Swine Flu all have an innate potential to bring people closer together, the kinds of people who in the face of adversity come together to help and be-friend one another. So now may have never been a better time to forge new friendships and relationships with like minded people who share your interests, desire, passion and need to make positive change happen in your life and those around you.

How about taking and making opportunities to deepen and connect further the positive friendships you already have? You can also be there to help your friends and colleges too.

Getting Stuff Done

Make an honest commitment to yourself to spending a set amount of time each day fully focused on attaining your outcome / goals.  Stop talking and start doing and keep your sense of humour.

A journey of a thousand miles began with a single step

Lao Tzu

Poster 4 Achieving Art ExhibitionImage by Johnk85 via Flickr

Give up any unrealistic expectations that you will achieve your most meaningful outcomes overnight and with little or no work.  If your goals are really meaningful and worthwhile you can, at the end of each day measure your smallest achievements and feel good about those. And if you can … and you can … a sense of gratitude for what you have.

You may begin to feel surprised by what you can achieve with a little commitment, over time – lets say one week or one month from now. A professional life coach may be of some real utility here, at least in the early stages.

When eating an elephant take one bite at a time

Creighton Abrams

Make some time to see your friends and share your thoughts and ideas, you know, having fun and sharing with good friends, talking things through makes a big difference in life, and that difference can be the difference that makes the difference.

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10 Hints & Tips for surviving a temporary recession – HT eight

ISS Propulsion Module (NASA)Image via WikipediaHere we are at Hint and Tip number eight. You have probably done a great deal of work, if you have done the exercises to be here in a fully participatory way.

You will have explored not just your goals but things like the consequences ( positive, negative and sameness ) of your changing situation. You have explored your outcome from differing perspectives and multiple ways in which expanding options could or could not take place.

The well formed outcome process ( Andy’s compass exercise ) may have given you more new information or some kind of realisation about what is really involved. You may even be consciously aware of how the language you use with yourself either verbally or non-verbally ( with or without sound ) can change the way you can experience your outcome in the future.

now, this is the part where you, yes, you! Begin the enrichment and enhancement of the deep desire and motivation to propel yourself to seeing it through.  See, it is ultimately ( as previous exercise may have shown you ) up to or down to you.

Apollo Soyuz Test Project Soyuz booster on lau...Image via WikipediaOK. Here you are with outcomes, well formed goals or things you really want to achieve. At this point the words aren’t really that important.  What is important is that you have an idea, a feeling, a representation, a sense of what this is really going to be like when you have it. That’s the VAKGO representation.

So here is the missing part from the well formed outcome process. What is it? That is going to start you and move you, pushing from one direction and pulling from the other that is going to make it much more possible that you get what you want.

This is in addition to the ecology ( personal congruency ) checks you have already done.

OK this is it.

Take your goal ( maybe the first one ) and ask yourself the following questions. Then answer it.  This is the beginning of honest and deeper propelling motivation.

Goal: What is important both to you and for you ( specific words from Dr. Christina Hall )  about fully achieving this goal?

Your answer “it is … X”

Having got some answer – ‘X’,

What is important about having ‘X’, that gets you what?

Your answer “it is … Y”

Having got some answer – ‘Y’,

What is important about having ‘Y’ what does that get you?

Your answer “it is … A”

Now, having put your goal into a much bigger context or bigger picture, I invite you to really think and give your full attention to what having ‘A’ in just the right and proper way your having ‘A’ is all about for you.

When you have got it and you have really got it, notice how you are feeling and especially having this realisation now notice how are you breathing… Breath it in and have it. Hold it for awhile… Relish the feeling, savour it.

This is your motivation… This is your motivation.

and now, having had this physical experience and remembering how you are breathing in this experience … and remembering it, now, let it go.

Shake it off… wiggle wiggle – That is BREAK STATE

After shaking it off, get it back, state ‘A’ recreate it … now … feel it, see it, smell it, taste it…

The easiest way is to replicate it, is your breathing, while remembering the ‘higher’ driving purpose and real importances of your outcome.

Sun rising over the Atlantic Ocean in HollywoodImage via Wikipedia

Lock it in, in your motivation, ‘A’ and connect this with your goal.

This deeply moving motivation will make your goal so much more possible. Having this fully and completely as you do now, what, as you think about it are your next steps…

More to follow, get it on!

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How to stop worrying and live better – A short course in Newcastle

Worry

Are you a worrier?

It’s not quite the happiest of New Years. Financial difficulties. Looming recession. The flu bug that’s going around. Wars and disasters on the TV.

Lots of challenging situations for all of us, but if you are a worrier it’s just so much worse. As if the reality of the situation wasn’t bad enough you can’t stop worrying about it.

Do these statements apply to you?

  • You’re not able to calm down
  • You imagine the worst
  • You feel anxious far more than you should
  • You just can’t stop worrying
  • You feel out of control

If they do then we have a short course in Newcastle that will help you:Relaxed

  • Feel calm
  • Stop worry in its tracks
  • Get back control of your mind.
  • Gain greater peace of mind.

The course will be held at St Oswald’s Hospice Teaching Centre, Regent Ave, Gosforth on Saturday 7th February from 9:30 am to 5:30 pm.

The full cost for the full day workshop is just £69.00.

To find out more click on Coping With Worry – A Short Course In Newcastle

10 Hints & Tips for surviving a temporary recession – HT Seven

Shifting Perspectives 2008The ability to change perspectives is one of the single most powerful tools there is. And the great news is that each and every one of us has this innate gift. Unfortunately we don’t always choose to use it though as is clearly being demonstrated in Israel and Gaza at the moment.

Children ( and some adults still ) have a wonderful ability to radically shift perspectives from what can appear to be one reality to another.  This ability in children may be because they haven’t yet developed rigid belief structures that prevent change and essentially close down possibilities.

For a moment think about your own thoughts, values and beliefs about the current conflict in Israel and Gaza. Now, if you can, think about it from a Hamas ‘freedom’ fighters perspective, what would you have to believe and value in order to operate this way? Now think about it from say an Israeli soldiers perspective, what would you have to value and believe to be true to act this way? Now come back to being yourself.

OK, now, if you found these two other world views uncomfortable, tricky, wonderful or impossible this is likely because they conflict or disagree with your own beliefs and values.  This is OK, this is not an attempt to begin world piece it is an illustration of beliefs and values in action, at work; yours.

Beliefs if you believe in them are like a glue holding the fabric of your reality together, if you like, the warp and the weft that keep things in place. And for most of the time this works really well.

In a simplistic world view each set of perspectives including your own are perfectly right and valid from the perspective of the individual. You may not agree or condone what is happening from your own perspective and this is about your own beliefs and values.

Loosening and softening limiting beliefs – Gaining new perspectives

The ‘What Do You Want’ question will illuminate some goal or outcome. A great many people that I am work with want to ‘Stop Worrying about xxx’ or ‘Dont want to feel zzz’. This to say the least is a very very reasonable outcome.

In the post H&T Four, you were invited to explore the question ‘What Do You Want’? using the NLP Well Formed Outcome process.

You were also invited to state your goals in a certain way. To state them in terms of not what you don’t want but in terms of what you want. So that is your goals stated in the so called ‘positive’.

Irrespective of how you stated your goals here is a neat process that explores and loosens the underlying beliefs relevant to the goal.  This is a process that will generate different perspectives about your outcome / goal.

For each goal, I invite you to answer  the following questions in the order thy are presented. Of course you will do them in the order you want. My experience is the order does have significance so choose wisely.

pick and write down three goals you want to explore. For each goal answer all of the following questions. Please take the time to really consider all of your answers before moving on to the next question.

  1. What will happen if I do achieve this goal?
  2. What will happen if I don’t achieve this goal?
  3. What won’t happen if I do achieve this goal?
  4. What won’t happen if I don’t achieve this goal?

These four ‘Cartesian questions’ especially Q4 tend to open up our own perspectives and encourage views of different yet related possibilities and outcomes.

For all of your goals, well at least the ones you want to work with go ahead and use this reasonably rapid process to generate new perspectives and explore the validity and possible consequences.Success

The next hint and tip will require you to have used these Cartesian questions and the Well Formed Outcome process on your goals. It will also require that you have refined your list of goals down to only the ones you are really committed to achieving.

I suggest picking just three that are most important to you as having too many goals and doing nothing about them is a potential recipe for procrastination.

The next hint and tip will be about creating and maintaining the right motivation to help you work towards getting what you really want.

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10 Hints & Tips for surviving a temporary recession – HT Six

This Soviet war poster conveys the message: Image via WikipediaFollowing on from the last hint and tip are you still chattering away to yourself or have you committed some time to applying yourself to the meditation to stop your internal dialogue? Either way, you can do even more.

There are times to have your attention focused fully on the outside world. Paying attention to other people and the opportunities that are very often present for much of the time. Opportunities such as potential new careers,  meeting new and interesting people, noticing works of art or perhaps really exceeding your customers expectations. That’s the ability to actually just be in the moment, a human-being.

Gordon Brown is said to be about to tell the British public “The recession is a test of character the British people must pass“as well as we Brits to  “rise to the challenge of the economic crisis“. Now this may indeed be a good sentiment for us Brits who are now and will be paying in many ways for what is essentially ‘greed’ gone mad. But how do we survive a recession. Specifically, what can we do?

Taking charge of how you feel, physically and emotionally is one of the good places to start.

A great many people talk themselves into unfavourable emotional states and even ill health. Being able to stop your own negative internal dialogue is one way you can make yourself feel better and be more resourceful to be able to rise to the uninvited challenges that will test your character.

Fear not – if the internal chatter hasn’t quite stopped yet, there is an nlp way that will usually dramatically shorten the meditative time requirement to stop your internal dialogue. For those who think just reading this will be enough, sorry! Again you have to do the exercise.

One of the massive influences on and in NLP is the works of Carlos Castenada.  He mentions his benefactors inferences on the importance of ‘Stopping the World’ as a prerequisite of personal genius and growth.

What is the Stopping the World?

Its quite simple, its an allegory for stopping the internal dialogue. And as a result it is about being present in the moment. Being present in the moment is arguably what Zen Buddhism is all about and one of Master Yoda’s teachings too, so it can’t be bad.

The importance and value of being able to, to have the choice to stop the internal chatter can never ever be overstated.

It is about having additional choice as to how to experience and as a result act in the world.

I remember once someone I know very well telling me how they kept track of where they are during performances and presentations, by taking to themselves most of the time in their internal dialogue. I was also privileged to view their performance and noticed how much of the audience responses and interactions they missed by talking to themselves.

Some of the people also watching this made the comment the performer in question was ‘wooden’ and some described this person patronising. I saw this with my own eyes and thought this person was a considerable way out of touch with their audience, missing important real time feedback.

This about it this way. I am sure you have been engaged in a conversation with a friend or colleague and then some thought of your own side tracks you and a little later you find yourself nodding ( in hopefully the right palaces ) and having no real idea what the other person has just said. I think this is an experience we all have had ourselves at some time.

So what can you do about it?

the good news is its actually very simple.

We experience the world with our five senses. What we see, smell, hear, taste and feel.

Think back to the last time you saw a film or listened to some music,it doesn’t matter which. Now remembering the sounds from this memory, answer the following for yourself.

  • Where does the sound sources(s) come from? Left, right, behind, above, directly in front etc?
  • What is the volume of the sound? High, low, natural sound etc?

Now think back to a conversation you have had recently. Answer the following for yourself.

  • Where does the person you are talking with voice sound like it comes from.  Left, right, behind, above, directly in front etc?
  • What is the volume of their voice? High, low, natural sound etc?
  • What vocal qualities does their voice have? Gravelly, whispery, sharp, angry, sexy, soft
  • What is the tone of their voice? High, low, modulating, monotone?
  • What is their rate of speech? Fast, slow, medium?

Before you work with your own internal dialogue, here is an experiment for you to try. Remember back to that conversation you had recently and have a play with changing individually all the qualities you identified.

If they spoke fast, slow it right down. If they have a gravely voice change it to a soft whispery voice.  If they speak in a high tone make it a low tone. If they were in front of you, imagine they are off to one side then the other.

It is really important that you take just five minutes and experiment and change things around.You can have as much fun as you wish doing this.

Working with your own internal dialogue

OK, here it is. It is really important for you to have done all the previous exercises ( about 8 minutes ) if you want to get the most out of this. Now, check in your own internal dialogue and answer these questions.

  • Where does your internal voice sound like it comes from.  Left, right, behind, above, directly in front etc?
  • What is the volume of your internal voice? High, low, natural sound etc?
  • What vocal qualities does your internal voice have? Gravelly, whispery, sharp, angry, sensuous, soft
  • What is the tone of your internal voice? High, low, modulating, monotone?
  • What is your rate of speech? Fast, slow, medium?
  • Now, whose voice does your internal dialogue sound like?

The first thing to to is realise that in the same way you changed the qualities of someone else’s voice you can do the same with your own. Here are some things to experiment with.

  1. Change the volume of your internal voice. Make it go absolutely silent, make it louder.
  2. Change the the rate of speech. From sounding like Mickey Mouse on helium to a sleepy Moomin just waking up.
  3. Alter the vocal quality. make the voice sensuous, make it raspy and make it whispery.
  4. Modify the location.
  5. Experiment changing your voice to a person you respect and admire or some helpful deity.

Now, once you have really had a good exploration and enjoyable play, find out what is going to benefit you the most. Again you have to be willing to experiment and change stuff around until you really like it. And remember, you can always put it back the way it was or change it to something else.

What benefits will I get by doing this?

Right now I invite you to commit to doing this now for 10 minutes and you will have done the whole exercise.

Of course you really do have to practice to feel the benefits. Make the time. The results are astounding.

It is quite likely that most people who read this won’t do the exercise. They will talk themselves out of it, wont be able to make the time, any number of excuses. it takes just 10 minutes the first time and will likely take much less to practice your new skills.

Before you commit to starting this, take a moment to note down the level of stress, anxiety, worry, calm, relaxation and optimism etc in your life. Rate them out of 10. After one week of practising changing the qualities of your own internal dialogue to simply quietening it right down revisit those marks out of ten.

Be one of the small percentage of people who will do more than just read the article.

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NLP Practitioner 23rd Jan 2009 – Newcastle and North East

What will 2009 bring you, worry, anxiety, stress?  Things you want to do but cant find the motivation? This is a serious undertaking so…

What about you taking response-ability for your situation, what you do and how you feel?

There are a million self help books out, audio and DVD’s and they are OK. But how about getting yourself the real practical skills that can and do make real differences in life?

Our NLP Practitioner course begins January 23rd 2009 and supplies the tools and skills where you could potentially and realistically change your life for the better for the rest of your life.

Our course is completely practical in nature and gives you the time to integrate these powerful skills into you every day life. There is the option of a personal project where you receive complementary coaching as you use your NLP skills to make it happen and get EFT training in with complete package.

This NLP Training’s quality is verified by The Professional Guild of NLP.

NLP when taught properly give people the skills to run their own lives in far better ways focusing on personal ecology. Deal with personal problems and issues, communicate much more effectively and get many more of the outcomes and goals you want in your personal and business life.

Get more information right here

Nigel Hetherington

10 Hints & Tips for surviving a temporary recession – HT One

Bad News album coverImage via WikipediaOne for sure way just about anyone can get themselves down, depress themselves and think negative thoughts is quite literally to surround themselves with a constant stream of bad news. Who on earth would choose to surround themselves with a constant stream of bad news you ask?

Well, anyone who watches the news on television, the radio or the net, morning, noon and night.  Seem familiar?

One of my best friends calls this kind of thing ‘The Train Wreck’ scenario. Imagine you are in the vicinity of a serious train wreck. You are so close it is just a few steps away. How likely is it that you would you walk over and take a peek? And, having taken a peek, would you keep looking, perhaps for just a short time?

Take a look at just about any news program, any internet news site, any newspaper web site and the vast, vast majority of the subjects is negative, worrying news. Its a fact, Bad News sells, it grips audiences and it can become compulsive viewing.

Do it morning noon and night and any time in between and I can just about guarantee it will have an effect on you. Probably not a good one. Repeated exposure over time will, I think will exacerbate effects.

Of course, the global media aren’t exactly responsible for this current temporary recession BUT they seem to be doing their best to perpetuate and exacerbate it by selling BAD NEWS.

Allow me to share with you a short personal story.

Some years ago I left my safe secure and thankless programming job. While in the process of setting up my current business I got into the habit of looking at internet news several times a day and within the space of less then a month was feeling uncharacteristically negative about a lot of things. I searched for what was different in my life, I had left a horrible job, decided to start a business all good things. So what was it?

What was getting me down was the constant stream of bad news I was subjecting myself to each day. So instead of watching the news several times a day I began looking at it once a day, then once a week. My mood changed considerably.

Can you learn to avoid ‘The Train Wreck’ scenario? Can you stop looking in one direction and choose another, a better direction?

Here is a tip I invite you to try out for yourself, and to notice what changes.

  • Take a measure of how you feel, right now, today. Write this down ( so you have something to compare with later )
  • For one week, stop watching/listening to news programs be they on the internet or television.  If this is too much and you are worried the world might freeze over cut the exposure down to once per day with a time limit. I strongly invite you to stop altogether.
  • At the end of one week measure how you feel. If it is better you can keep watching less and less bad news.

If you find this useful and you have explored this tip for a week, please pass it on to a friend and please feel free to leave a comment about how this worked out for you.

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Free NLP Resources – Problems and Goals

Almost every one of us has at some time had the experience of either some problematic ‘behaviour’ or somehow not quite being able to reach some of our goals.

In the free download section there is a new NLP / Hypnosis process specifically for use in attaining your goals or changing problematic behaviours.

To access the free NLP and Hypnosis downloads you need to subscribe to my newsletter.

Communicating Excellence :  NLP courses run in the North East of England and Newcastle to provide the very best applied NLP experiential trainings. Newcastle and North East NLP Practitioner, North East and Newcastle NLP Master Practitioner, Clinical Hypnotherapy Diploma Training in Newcastle upon Tyne.

NLP Demystified – Beliefs & Values 2

WARNING! This is extremely controversial!

This is currently one of the most popular internet videos available.

I post the link because – it is also an excellent demonstration of Beliefs and Values in action. It may be a fake. But it has currently been watched by over four and a half MILLION people.

Irrespective of its authenticity, lets assume this is just cinema. A projection of actors beliefs and values. An example is worth more than one thousand written words …

What is educational are the many Beliefs and Values that are conveyed in the conversation.

LISTEN TO THE AUDIO

What may be an even more powerful example of beliefs in action is your own, you own responses to this audio. But DO note the end of the audio when the ‘prank’ all becomes clear!

This will lead nicely into the next NLP Demystified post ‘Model of The World’