Before I share some thoughts and ideas about your New Year resolutions I am going to share a story with you. If you require the dates and cost of the January 2015 18 day NLP Practitioner training, that’s all at the end of this post.
When I was about fifteen I had an experience that is common to practically everybody I know.
Me and a friend had been watching the film Nightmare on Elm Street at his parents house. It was as I remember very very scary. When it came to 10pm I was making my way home and it was dark winter night where the wind was blowing through the hedges and trees.
As the wind blew low clouds across an almost full moon, little noises made my hairs stand on end and for the whole of that terrifying five minute walk that became a run home, my imagination created horrendous scenarios about what could happen that were far more frightening to me that the film I had just watched. But lets get back to the New Year resolutions for a while.
Many people are making New Year resolutions. These wonderful ideas are generally the kind of things that should improve your life, happiness and perhaps drop a waist size or two.
Sometimes and rightly so the New Year resolutions are to stop doing things that cause emotional pain or are in some ways not entirely healthy. These could be to worry less, live with less fear and anxiety or to cut down on alcohol and red meat.
All of these are in essence great ways to begin a new fresh year. Making the changes that we believe will make a real difference in both who we are and how we show up in the world day in and day out.
If you consider that all resolutions are ways of attempting to make our life better in some way then I invite you to write a list of between twenty and thirty aspects of your life that you are generally happy with. Write them down. This could easily take a whole ten minutes. Having done that, ask yourself how happy you actually are right now.
A vast majority of our happiness is created not so much as what happens to us or what we do but by how we make the meaning of the events and experiences in our life. This really does mean a great deal of how and what we feel really is massively influenced by what and how we think. Think about it!
Our brain is the most amazing thing we have. Without it there would be no perceptions, no feeling and no life. The most complex thing we are aware of in the universe and there is no operating manual to teach us how to use our brains for the better.
So we have our operational use of our brains just the way we have them. And there is certainly room for improvement or we want improvement hence the New Years resolutions. Or as I prefer to use the analogy of a list of goals and outcomes that we think will bring us happiness.
Learning how we can use our thoughts and how we can change our ongoing experience is like waking up from a dream. It’s like finding out what is really, really important in our life and then doing some ‘making it happen’.
So back to Nightmare on Elm street. There is absolutely everything normal and correct about feeling fear, worry and anxiety. Unless it rules your life as both a jailer, tormentor and torturer.
When I get back home my mother asked what was wrong. I coughed up and said something like “I know its stupid but I have been watching a film at …” We talked for a few minutes and then I asked if I could go out again for just a few minutes.
What I did then was walk back the route I had just ran from. Yes it was scary, I was frightened. I was almost constantly reassuring myself that it was OK and Freddy was not coming to get me. When I got back to my friends house I then realised I had to go home again. Scary yes, but I had done it before, so I did it again. I think it’s called feel the fear and do it anyway.
That common experience I am alluding to is when ‘something’ takes over and despite fear, anxiety and worry we do something amazing, pure and life giving.
And yes I know this is no big deal at all and we will all have our own stories as to when we have experienced something life this. so what on earth does this have to do with goals?
When we set goals or New Year resolutions very seldom do we really, really know what the longer game or consequences are. A great coaching question to ask yourself is what is the real and deep motivation that having attained the said goal will actually bring into your life as an honest and lasting experience.
What was my goal in facing a completely irrational fear at 15? I honestly don’t know. As I look back I can make new meanings, imagine what my outcome was but its just imagination. What is important is that there was an impulse, a very deep motivation to act.
My sense is that when many people make goals or New Year resolutions they probably make a lot of sense and would seem at first glance to be useful yet so many people fail in their good attempts. They act on deep impulse.
For outcomes or revolutions to ‘stick’ there needs to be something more than a deep impulse and some good intentions.
When I coach clients who have goals I use NLP tools to explore the meanings and inherent values of any goals. I share NLP techniques that help people to influence their own thoughts, feelings and actions in ways more conducive to their better wellbeing. And especially to have ways to help tap back into their deep motivation to help stay motivated.
An NLP Practitioner training will be useful to you to enhance your communications skills, find out how you think and how you can change your thinking, use language more elegantly and become more of who you want to be.
Tools to help you better manage your emotions in more situations by learning powerful NLP processes. How to ethically influence others by understanding about peoples values and beliefs. And a deeper knowledge of motivations.
18 day NLP Practitioner in Newcastle : £695
Jan 30-31, Feb 1, 27-28, Mar 1, 27-29, Apr 24-26, May 22-24, Jun 19-21
Taking place at Jesmond Dene Conference Centre. six three day modules from January to June.
Friday-Sunday 09.30 – 17.30
There are currently four places available for the this NLP training in January through to June. Click here for much more information and to Book Your Place on NLP Practitioner training in Newcastle upon Tyne.