One of the things that makes Christmas particularly nice is meeting up with friends and family. The time before the holidays running up to that last day at work before new year – lush! And there is always that feeling of excitement and anticipation just before the holidays start too. It makes you think doesn’t it, about the whole concept of Christmas maybe even good old Yarwe, ( oops HaShem – dear GOD, wouldn’t want to make anyone or their religion take offense, after all this is the UK – Home to free speech and liberal attitudes PROVIDING that speech is politically correct. I don’t know why I hear anarchy in the uk by sexpistols? ), before that and now the semi -global adoption of ‘christian’ values and beliefs especially by shop keepers and those not so friendly little elves from the Iceland consortium making as much money as they can, forcing suppliers to accept less than they had previously agreed – Ahh the joys of human kindness. The causes of all these conflicting undercurrents of humanity may never be known but if you will put all that stuff aside then – what you make Crimbo and new year to be really is up to you – and I do hope ( and even offer a prayer to all receptive Deity’s, God’s and Goddesses ) that for you it turns out exactly the way you wish it to be while you want it to.
the Meta Model essentially does two things when used ‘as intended’
- It assist stuck clients to change – Therapeutic
- It gets high quality information – Business / Pleasure / Therapeutic
Additionally the NLP Cafe, a structured, Newcastle NLP Practice group will be open for its first event on Wednesday 9th January 7-9pm. How to resourcefully respond to criticism
Its a snip at £10.00 or just £9.00 if you book online.
Our NLP Practitioner course beginning in January 2008 and the current Integrity NLP Practitioner in Newcastle will uncover the Meta Model and those who are on our next Newcastle Clinical Hypnotherapy training will leave with a well grounded and practical knowledge of applying this process therapeutically.
How good would it feel to be relating even more fully with your clients whilst still operating as an effective therapist. If you are in any therapeutic field like the many complementary therapies or thinking of expanding your skills, you could take our Newcastle clinical hypnotherapy course – it will help your communications during therapy be better, easier and faster as your incorporating new skills.
Hold on, the more you feel your getting to grips with these Meta Model interventions are a set of specific verbal responses to a set of very specific words and phrases. Its really easy, so, not so surprisingly ‘clients’ and people are using them all the time, take note, its easy to say and do, just like your full and complete learning, your getting language in a new way…
the Art of Applied NLP is when and in what contexts to apply these specific verbal responses so as not to lose friends and alienate yourself.
The Meta Model – Therapeutic Process (13)
Please note that when you use this ( or any ) process with clients you are at best creating a context where they can change their own situation.
“In psychotherapy you change no one. People change themselves. You create circumstances under which an individual can respond spontaneously and change. That’s all you do. The rest is up to them” – Milton Erickson
Now lets get down to doing with just a few examples. The example will take the form of a ‘clients’ verbalisation of a problem and the specific ‘form’ of the Meta Model response for this particular problem – got the picture already?
Notice there is no requirement to know the labels for these ‘responses’.
One thing that really is worth keeping in mind if you choose to practice recognising from and responding to in this way to others ( or your self ) –
do do it respectfully and with rapport!
The ‘problems’ or stuck states statements are presented in RED and the verbal responses in GREEN
Your smiling at me that way makes me feel nervous!
What times have you felt nervous before and I haven’t smiled?
Its your interpretation of what my smile means that you say is making you nervous!
Are you saying that EVERY time I smile you get nervous – what if I wasn’t here?
How does that happen?
IF she gets that job THEN we can be sure of improved performance
Are you suggesting that the only way we can have improved performance IS her getting the job?
So you are suggesting that improved performance will only be credited to and caused by her?
How will her not getting the job necessitate an impossible performance improvement?
THEN IF she doesn’t get the job were finished? There is absolutely no other way in the universe to improve performance – IS this what you actually mean?
My lack of concentration made me miss the deadline
What caused your lack of concentration?
You need to change your strategy!
So if you could concentrate you could make the deadline. Think about it!
Since you concentrating now, The deadline is extended one hour away – get on it!
My boss is making me feel unhappy and stressed
What specifically has been stressing for you?
How are you choosing to respond such that you have felt unhappy?
Thats awful! You must be feeling so very unhappy and incredibly stressed out, aww thats sooooo terrible. Sometimes I think there is really no point to life. Ha just kidding, so what’s the first things are you gona do about it first?
When did you give your boss permission to do that to you? ( thanks Ian )
All this dark weather it makes you sad doesn’t it.
It might make you sad, me, I feel great, you know.
Shut up and tell me, You can recall what light weather is like, can’t you!
What did you think about it before you make that particular assessment?
No. Im looking forward to spring mornings and summer evenings BUT you probably cant even understand what I mean BECAUSE your way too sad to…
All of the above ‘interventions‘ take the form of a response to recognising a description of some implied or stated cause and effect. This cause effect model works well with Newtonian physics but kind of crumbles and dissipates with people and living things.
There are several ways to respond. One way is to offer counter examples to either the whole statement or to the cause part or to the effect part. Other ways are to request the specifics, the what, OR the structure, the how of the particular cause and or effect.
The purpose of the response is to create choice and to create choice that is initiated and maintained by self.
example
You make me feel good.
You have felt good without me.
what exactly is it that you choose to feel good about?
Nip skin playfully and “you feel good to me too”
example
His boasting boars me
Come on lets go somewhere else
Its not his ‘boasting’ its your attitude
Then stop letting him control you – choose to feel something else!
enjoy
nigel hetherington
Communicating Excellence
Excellence in Neuro Linguistic Programming and Clinical Hypnotherapy
